In the first part of this discussion, we explained what micro-cheating is. Simply put, micro-cheating involves small, secret acts of attention toward another person. If you have experienced this in your relationship, there are plenty of ways to move forward together. Here are some tips for what to do after micro-cheating, courtesy of our couples counseling centers in Michigan.
For the sake of this post, we will refer to “you” as the person not involved in the micro-cheating and “your spouse” as the person involved with someone else.
Talk about the Situation – The Who, What, When, Where, and WHY
This may be a difficult conversation, but you need to talk about what happened. Find out when it started, who it involved, where it took place, etc. Most importantly, try to figure out why the micro-cheating occurred. Is your spouse not getting enough attention at home? Is the connection with the other person based on a certain passion or shared interest? Is the micro-cheating the result of a former love interest? Getting to the root of the situation will help you overcome it.
Establish an Acceptable Form of Interaction
Micro-cheating often involves coworkers or close associates. Thus it may be difficult to cease communication entirely. Instead, create boundaries to establish an acceptable form of communication. For example, your spouse may agree to only speak to a coworker in the work environment. He or she may also agree to remove the other person from social media. You can determine what is most appropriate for your relationship and the situation at hand.
Come Clean about Other Secrets in the Relationship
If there are other secrets in your relationship, now is the time to come clean about them. This is a chance for a fresh start, so it needs to be as ‘fresh’ as it can be. If you have been hiding something from your spouse, open up about it. You may have committed a form of micro-cheating yourself, or perhaps you’ve been avoiding a certain discussion. Whatever the case may be, encourage open communication from this point forward.
Work through Problems in Your Relationship (Preferably through Couples Counseling)
Infidelity, even in a minor form, does not have to be an ending point for your relationship. At Oakland Psychological Clinic, we have worked with many couples who experienced physical or emotional infidelity for years. In order to prevent micro-cheating in the future and truly get past this event, you need to work through issues in your relationship. Do you know your spouse’s love language? Is there a balance of responsibilities in the household? Have you made time for your relationship? These are just some of the questions you need to address.
The best way to work through relationship issues is through couples counseling. With a couples counselor, you can get professional advice specifically for your relationship. Learn how to communicate, how to resolve conflicts, how to de-escalate arguments, how to bring closure to the past, and much more. This is a confidential, unbiased platform where you can speak out and let your voice be heard. The skills you learn along the way will have a lasting impact on your relationship.
For more information about couples counseling, contact one of our counseling centers in Michigan.