Jealousy is a natural human emotion, but it can put strain on a relationship. You may have felt jealous for a long time, or perhaps it’s a recent development. Whatever the case may be, there are steps you can take to alter these emotions. Read on to learn how not to be jealous in a relationship.
Identify the Source of the Jealousy
Before you can conquer jealousy, you need to know what’s causing it. Jealousy almost always sparks from some form of insecurity. This may be subconscious – you don’t even realize you’re insecure about something. It may come from an abusive relationship in the past, a history of bullying, examples of insecurity in your home life, or a number of other factors.
Think about what’s really making you feel jealous. Is it the fact that someone else is paying attention to your partner, or the fact that you feel unworthy of your partner? For that matter, do you feel unworthy of love altogether? Does there need to be a better balance of time in your relationship? Do you need to improve your communication with one another? Analyzing your true inner thoughts will help you come to terms with your jealousy.
Change Negative Thinking Habits
Negative thought patterns, also known as distorted thinking, contribute to jealousy. This may include overanalyzing situations, jumping to conclusions, predicting the future, etc. If your mind starts racing with worst-case scenarios, you’re bound to get jealous. It’s time to put those thoughts to a stop.
When you find yourself spiraling into jealousy, recognize the negative thoughts in your head. Pretend as if they are coming from a different person – someone you can choose to ignore. You may even go so far as to give those thoughts a name. “Well, there goes Janet again, jumping to conclusions.” As silly as it sounds, that type of mentality will help stop the trajectory of the negative thoughts.
Focus on the Positives
Reassure yourself by looking at the positives in your relationship. If your partner is receiving attention, that means that you’ve got a good catch. No matter how much attention your partner receives, he or she comes home to you. Celebrate the victories, and be proud that you’re the chosen one. This will counteract some of the insecurities that are dwelling below the surface.
Talk to a Therapist about Jealousy
You don’t have to overcome jealousy alone. Sometimes it helps to have an outside party to provide feedback and constructive input. Therapists are trained to identify the underlying issues and find personalized solutions to address them. In other words, a therapist can help you figure out what’s causing your jealousy and what you can do to address it.
Oakland Psychological Clinic offers individual counseling, couples counseling and family counseling. We have multiple therapist offices in Michigan, and we match each client with the best therapist for their needs. To get started, contact the location nearest to you.